A Guide: Separating Is Better Than Being in a Bad Marriage
When two individuals marry, their intentions are often to live a happy married life and care for each other. However, the soaring divorce rates in the U.S. tell us that the intention of living happily-ever-after is seldom achieved. Furthermore, numerous American couples are enduring a bad marital bond either because they do not want to break up or wrongly believe their relationship is salvageable.
If you are in a toxic relationship with your spouse and feel that separation is not the solution, think again! Deciding to go your separate ways isn’t easy; however, staying in an unhappy marriage can have a lasting negative impact on your emotional health. What’s more, it’s a constant threat to the safety and wellbeing of your family.
Filing for a legal separation is better than putting up with an offensive partner. Divorce attorneys know how to manage such cases and are adept with the local laws. For instance, a divorce attorney in Geneva knows Illinois divorce laws like the back of his/her hand and can assist the plaintiff who’s seeking separation.
Recognizing that you are in an unhealthy marriage is the key to dissociating from the relationship and improving the quality of your life. Watch out for the below-mentioned signs of an unhealthy or abusive marriage and ask yourself if you truly want to be a part of it.
- Your spouse (male/female) is often unkind and violent with you or other family members, especially the kids.
- He/she has frequent bouts of bad temper over trivial issues.
- He/she is of a secretive nature.
- He/she does not prioritize the family.
- You see signs of infidelity.
- He/she either refuses to get intimate with you or forces you into a sexual encounter.
- He/she is not a responsible parent.
- He/she abuses drugs and/or alcohol.
The aforementioned signs are not unusual; yet, couples are unable to make a firm decision due to emotions such as fear, attachment, and embarrassment; and factors like security, money, and children.
Nevertheless, calling time on a relationship where the boundaries are being repeatedly transgressed is good for your health and personal freedom. Here are five reasons why separating is better than staying a bad marriage.
1) You Prioritize Yourself
When a marriage is on the rocks, you are constantly thinking of how to reduce the stress in the household, protect your kids, or mend the relationship, putting your needs and wellbeing in the back seat.
Filling your life with responsibilities and trying to restore a bad marriage can drain you of energy and optimism, forcing you to live a discontented life.
Separation enables you to tend to your needs and practice self-compassion, allowing you to experience the best version of you. Moreover, the solitude that follows separation will help you gauge your strengths, enabling you to shape your life the way you desire. Therefore, it is wise to dissociate from your toxic marital relationship and make yourself a priority.
2) Single Parenthood Is Way Better Than an Unhealthy One
Research shows that unsettled conflicts between parents can permanently mar kids’ emotional development, increasing the risk of childhood depression and anxiety, and triggering violent reactions and negative thoughts in kids.
If you are living in a bad marriage with kids, it is better to separate than allow your little ones to witness the tension in your marital relationship. It’s not simple to be a single parent; yet, it is easier than managing kids who are emotionally distressed and insecure.
Also, separating from a toxic partner will enable you to contribute positively to your child’s development.
3) You Are Spared of Emotional and Physical Abuse
Living in an abusive marriage often feels like you are walking on eggshells. The trauma of putting up with abusive relationships can lead to feelings of depression, eating disorders, low self-esteem, and self-harm. Sure, every relationship requires tolerance and the readiness to make things work; yet, in abusive relationships, walking out is the best solution.
Separation allows you to live the life you deserve devoid of the fear of being manipulated or mistreated, encouraging you to move on and achieve your goals. Having freed yourself from a bad marriage, you can now make space for positive people who support you through life’s struggles.
4) Opens the Door for Someone Who Is Meant for You
Everyone deserves to be loved and cared for. Living in an unhealthy relationship that’s devoid of love can be traumatic. Though the anxiety of separating from your partner can be awful, once it’s done, you are free to choose a partner who cares for you and prioritizes you over everything else.
Separation clears your mind of the negative emotions and helps you dive into a healthy relationship.
5) Legal Separation Is Easier Than You Think
It can be tough to handle a legal proceeding after having endured a toxic relationship for years. Most individuals shun separation as an option because they find the legal procedures too complicated and are anxious about their future and security.
However, a qualified divorce attorney can simplify the procedure and offer you the right advice while keeping your best interest in mind.
Secondly, different states in the U.S. handle divorce cases differently. As a result, divorce laws and procedures vary according to the state. For instance, Geneva divorce lawyers know that the Illinois divorce law requires one spouse to be a resident of the state for at least 90 days before commencing any legal action.
Hence, it is wise to consult your local divorce attorney who can inform you of the applicable laws, offer valuable advice, and guide you with legal paperwork.
Living in a noxious relationship can be crippling. If you are coping with a bad marriage, legal separation is a sensible way to get rid of the pessimism and focus on those aspects of your life that matter the most.
The information and tips shared in this article will help you during this trying phase, enabling you to muster the courage to start a fresh chapter in your life.